Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
