Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
