Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Randomize