The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize