we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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