I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My life is pants optional.
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