If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
