You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize