i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
