I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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