Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize