butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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