operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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