Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is wine microwaveable?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
