So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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