whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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