Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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