Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
