Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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