Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
