i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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