It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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