i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
