Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
