he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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