areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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