I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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