how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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