THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
