So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My liver just broke up with me...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
