was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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