wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Congratulations! We have a period
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize