I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
