Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
