You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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