and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Semen is not good for contacts.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
