I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
