I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
