i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize