Ambien. No doubt about it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize