Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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