wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
