I'm gonna have a badass scar
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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