I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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