spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
