I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
