Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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