he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
