so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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