But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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