i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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