so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
