3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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