is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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