yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
