If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
